《我为什么而活着》

《我为什么而活着》-罗素

对爱情的渴望,对知识的追求,对人类苦难不可遏制的同情心,这三种纯洁而无比强烈的激情支配着我的一生。这三种激情,就像飓风一样,在深深的苦海上,肆意地把我吹来吹去,吹到濒临绝望的边缘。

    我寻求爱情,首先因为爱情给我带来狂喜,它如此强烈以致我经常愿意为了几小时的欢愉而牺牲生命中的其他一切。我寻求爱情,其次是因为爱情可以解除孤寂一—那是一颗震颤的心,在世界的边缘,俯瞰那冰冷死寂、深不可测的深渊。我寻求爱情,最后是因为在爱情的结合中,我看到圣徒和诗人们所想像的天堂景象的神秘缩影。这就是我所寻求的,虽然它对人生似乎过于美好,然而最终我还是得到了它。

    我以同样的热情寻求知识,我渴望了解人的心灵。我渴望知道星星为什么闪闪发光,我试图理解毕达哥拉斯的思想威力,即数字支配着万物流转。这方面我获得一些成就,然而并不多。

    爱情和知识,尽其可能地把我引上天堂,但是同情心总把我带回尘世。痛苦的呼唤经常在我心中回荡,饥饿的儿童,被压迫被折磨者,被儿女视为负担的无助的老人以及充满孤寂、贫穷和痛苦的整个世界,都是对人类应有生活的嘲讽。我渴望减轻这些不幸,但是我无能为力,而且我自己也深受其害。

    这就是我的一生,我觉得值得为它活着。如果有机会的话,我还乐意再活一次。

  

What I Have Lived For

by Bertrand Russell

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

 I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy – ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness–that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what–at last–I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

 Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

 This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

Exercise habit

It has been one month since I started to try out my exercise plan. I have been successfully stick to the plan (Hooray!) and had the first step accomplished in terms of forming this habit.

The idea to set priority and form habits in life was inspired by chatting with my friend Yiru and reading the Zen habits blog she recommended.

The blog suggests to start with meditation as first habit as it is the foundation of all. I chose exercise as the first habit to try because 1) workout and sweating is the happiest moment for me; 2) exercise is something I know if you pay, you gain. There are not too many things like this; 3) exercise is used to be my habit and I just need to pick it up.

Below are what I found most useful for me to stick to the plan:

  • Find a partner and commit to the plan together. In case one person didn’t complete the plan, the partner get punishment (rather than reward, as we felt we are too nice to punish others)
  • Set  minimum goal that you couldn’t find any excuse not to do it. My minimum goal is 10 push-ups. For the past month, I did 10 push-ups as minimum ( I did miss a few days – simply forgot), I consider a good day if I ran 1 mile, and a wonderful day if I swam, yoga, or went biking.
  • Always have exercise gear with you (clean gym clothes and shoes; while clean is not mandatory)
  • Enjoy during exercise

I will keep going with exercise habit, and will start to try meditation as second habit. I have read all the posts related to meditation from Zen habits and decided to try it with the attitude “Let’s see what happens”. I will start with 5 minute meditation every evening before going to bed.

Good morning Sunday!

这个周末牛放“春”假,全家一起到附近山上放个小假。

现在是礼拜天早上八点半,奶奶和爸爸带着美美去吃餐厅早饭了。我晒着太阳面对着下图的景色喝着早咖啡。四周好安静,除了偶尔雪发出咯吱咯吱的声音。此时此刻。随心所欲地走神,实在太美好。

First day daycare/17mon

Again quotes from Zen habits:

https://zenhabits.net/shaken/

“You lethargic, waiting upon me,
waiting for the fire and I
attendant upon you, shaken by your beauty

Shaken by your beauty
Shaken.”

~William Carlos Williams

Typically articles on ZB blog are very practical. This one is not. It starts with a poem and reads like a song and ends up with a picture in my head.

Today is Meimei’s first official day in daycare. She had two days for test drive before today. She did amazing on the past two days that no crying at drop-off, happy hanging out with teachers, eating well, and napping well (except a little incidence she was beaten on the chin by another kid :(). Of course most of these are based on reports from the teacher. I was relieved while surprised (too good to be true, isn’t it!). It seems nothing else I could ever ask for for her first daycare experience.

Today when I sent her lunch and was peeking outside the window. It is different than I imagined. She looked puzzled, confused, and not playing with teacher and other kids, and looks like she is thinking something. Her uncertain face expression reminded me when I first time left home and went to college all by myself. I was lonely and afraid and not sure what was coming. Now Meimei is only 17 month. She has been such a brave girl exploring this world.

One the first day of daycare, Meimei, mama wants to tell you: It is okay to cry anytime; it is okay not to be an “expected” girl; just slow down and take your time. We are all here with you. Love you.

 

You are good enough

最近在朋友的推荐下开始知道Zen habits 。这位博主是一个成功改变/形成了很多习惯的生活中的minimalist 。

他有六个小孩,家庭孩子一直是他生活中最高优先级。看他给孩子的话第一条是“You are good enough. Most people are afraid to do things because they are afraid they’re not good enough, afraid they’ll fail. But you are good enough — learn that and you won’t be afraid of new things, won’t be afraid to fail, won’t need the approval of others. You’ll be pre-approved — by yourself.” 这一点我不能同意更多。一直以来我喜欢给自己很多框框很多定义,觉得自己不够好,也因此错过很多乐趣和机会吧(比方说大学的时候选专业我觉得数分没学好就选不了数学专业,结果兜兜转转四年以后还是转专业到了统计)

所以啊宝宝。希望你知道不是妈妈溺爱你,你真的足够好好到不需要害怕做任何新事物不需要害怕失败。

https://instagram.com/p/BRDnNO0BsSa/